Thank You!!!

Thank you so much for the wonderful virtual shower. After waking up and shuffling downstairs in my pjs, Garrett handed me some tea and had me sit down to the computer for my surprise.


I loved all of your posts. They were personal, unique, and full of sage advice. I cried 4 different times! I'm really looking forward to marrying Garrett, and your words instilled in me more inspiration and excitement about this next step in our lives.


Thank you for making such a meaningful shower for me. I preferred this so much more than if you had all showed up and wrapped me in toilet paper!

Some more pictures from the shower:


Thank you for the gifts and your thoughtful and loving words.

Love,

Elizabeth

May you be showered with love!

Elizabeth (and Garrett),

At the time that Gary and I were married, the pastor performing the ceremony told a story which at the time seemed odd to me. After 26 years of marriage, I have grown to fully appreciate the wisdom hidden in that story. As the story goes, there was a man who, in the interest of ensuring that his marriage would last, arose every morning, looked in the mirror and said to himself "You are not such great stuff yourself, you know". Sharing love means sharing at our best and at our worst. I cherish Gary's friendship. His kindness, support, honesty and faith have helped me through the most difficult of times. We have many wonderful memories of working, playing, parenting, and loving. Nevertheless, when I find mud on the carpet, dishes piled high, or an unfinished project, I remind myself to look in the mirror. I know that my own short-comings, at times, must frustrate Gary. We have both grown through marriage and continually try to accommodate each other's needs or desires. Gary has learned to make the bed in the morning and I sometimes take out the trash. We have formed a partnership which daily requires both give and take. The vows which we shared on our wedding day have stood the test of time.

We promised:
To love and cherish each other as unique individuals.
That our love would be patient, understanding, accepting, forgiving, filled with honesty and trust.
To support each other's growth and allow space for growth.
To challenge each other to better understand ourselves, the world around us and to use our gifts and talents to build God's kingdom.
To consider the other's physical, emotional and spiritual well being to be as important as our own.

As I was looking through our scrapbook, I found the attached note which you apparently wrote en route to our wedding. (Let me know if you cannot enlarge and read it and I will send it via email.) It was such a joy to have so many of our friends and family supporting our union. We wish the same for you and Garrett. Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.

Love,
Ruth

P.S. You should have received a couple of boxes from San Pedro yesterday. Another from Madison is on its way.

Best wishes from Alise

Dear Elizabeth,

What I wish most for you and for Garrett is that you are able to stop and savour the everyday, the mundane, the simplicity of life's little moments. May Billy Collins' words inspire your many moments together. Much love, Alise

This Much I Do Remember
Billy Collins

It was after dinner.
You were talking to me across the table
about something or other,
a greyhound you had seen that day
or a song you liked,

and I was looking past you
over your bare shoulder
at the three oranges lying
on the kitchen counter
next to the small electric bean grinder,
which was also orange,
and the orange and white cruets for vinegar and oil.

All of which converged
into a random still life,
so fastened together by the hasp of color,
and so fixed behind the animated
foreground of your
talking and smiling,
gesturing and pouring wine,
and the camber of your shoulders

that I could feed it being painted within me,
brushed on the wall of my skull,
while the tone of your voice
lifted and fell in its flight,
and the three oranges
remained fixed on the counter
the way stars are said
to be fixed in the universe.

Then all the moments of the past
began to line up behind that moment
and all the moments to come
assembled in front of it in a long row,
giving me reason to believe
that this was a moment I had rescued
from the millions that rush out of sight
into a darkness behind the eyes.

Even after I have forgotten what year it is,
my middle name,
and the meaning of money,
I will still carry in my pocket
the small coin of that moment,
minted in the kingdom
that we pace through every day.

Happy Virtual Shower!

Elizabeth,

I read an article in Parenting magazine recently called “Six Marriage Myths.” One of the topics the article addresses is taking your partner for granted. It begins by saying that while you might think it’s a bad thing to take your partner for granted, in a marital context where two people have committed themselves so completely to each other, taking the other for granted just shows the level of commitment that is expected. And how wonderful to be able to expect so much from someone else!

When I look at my own marriage I realize that there have been times when I may have taken Jared for granted, and while I would like to be sure and show my gratitude to him for all he does for our family, it’s also encouraging to see that our relationship is such that I can rely on him to continue to be the support he always has been.

To read the rest of the article, follow this link: http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/6-Marriage-Myths

We love you and look forward to celebrating with you!

Tara

From Grandma Benedict

"I feel that it is such a blessing that you and Garrett found each other. May the blessings continue as you
share your life journeys together."

With love and all best wishes,
Grandma Benedict

Congratulations from Amy in CA

Etse-bay,

I hope you have a fabulous "virtual shower". I hope you are able to have a special day even though I could not be there with you. Love is such a special blessing and I'm excited that you've found it with Garrett. Weddings are so much fun and I am bummed that we cannot be there with you to celebrate. Our new little one (AJ) is keeping us very busy at home.

Lots of love and best wishes!
Amy

Paul, Carol, and Mark send all our love on your "virtual shower" day

Elizabeth,

It is stating the obvious to say that every relationship is different. But when I think about my own marriage, I have to say that it has thrived because Paul and I acknowledge our differences and respect each others need to have a vibrant life (friends, professional, etc.) beyond the marriage. Some might think we have carried this too far at times. After all, Paul went off to the (then) Soviet Union for half a year almost immediately after we got married (We had to marry in February because that was the only month we were both on the same continent!). But by giving each other space, our bond has only continued to grow with time. Now, I'm not advocating that either of you depart for China for a year--as I did during our courtship--but our own secret of success has been our mutual and loving recognition that we are two distinctly different people. Sometimes we forget and become annoyed or even angry because the other person isn't doing things the "right" way. This is true whether it small stuff (like the perennial debate about whether it is necessary to pre-rinse the dishes or not before putting them in the dishwasher) or the bigger issues that come with every marriage. But then we remember that because we are not "joined at the hip" we simply do things differently. We are two people who love each other very much but who nonetheless entered this marriage with distinctive life histories, personalities, and styles. In the end, there is no "right" way--just our own unique approaches to the challenges that life throws at us. And it sure helps to have companion along the way.

So, enjoy and celebrate your individuality, even as you join in this wonderful union. You are two very special people and we are so very, very happy for you both.