Thank You!!!

Thank you so much for the wonderful virtual shower. After waking up and shuffling downstairs in my pjs, Garrett handed me some tea and had me sit down to the computer for my surprise.


I loved all of your posts. They were personal, unique, and full of sage advice. I cried 4 different times! I'm really looking forward to marrying Garrett, and your words instilled in me more inspiration and excitement about this next step in our lives.


Thank you for making such a meaningful shower for me. I preferred this so much more than if you had all showed up and wrapped me in toilet paper!

Some more pictures from the shower:


Thank you for the gifts and your thoughtful and loving words.

Love,

Elizabeth

May you be showered with love!

Elizabeth (and Garrett),

At the time that Gary and I were married, the pastor performing the ceremony told a story which at the time seemed odd to me. After 26 years of marriage, I have grown to fully appreciate the wisdom hidden in that story. As the story goes, there was a man who, in the interest of ensuring that his marriage would last, arose every morning, looked in the mirror and said to himself "You are not such great stuff yourself, you know". Sharing love means sharing at our best and at our worst. I cherish Gary's friendship. His kindness, support, honesty and faith have helped me through the most difficult of times. We have many wonderful memories of working, playing, parenting, and loving. Nevertheless, when I find mud on the carpet, dishes piled high, or an unfinished project, I remind myself to look in the mirror. I know that my own short-comings, at times, must frustrate Gary. We have both grown through marriage and continually try to accommodate each other's needs or desires. Gary has learned to make the bed in the morning and I sometimes take out the trash. We have formed a partnership which daily requires both give and take. The vows which we shared on our wedding day have stood the test of time.

We promised:
To love and cherish each other as unique individuals.
That our love would be patient, understanding, accepting, forgiving, filled with honesty and trust.
To support each other's growth and allow space for growth.
To challenge each other to better understand ourselves, the world around us and to use our gifts and talents to build God's kingdom.
To consider the other's physical, emotional and spiritual well being to be as important as our own.

As I was looking through our scrapbook, I found the attached note which you apparently wrote en route to our wedding. (Let me know if you cannot enlarge and read it and I will send it via email.) It was such a joy to have so many of our friends and family supporting our union. We wish the same for you and Garrett. Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.

Love,
Ruth

P.S. You should have received a couple of boxes from San Pedro yesterday. Another from Madison is on its way.

Best wishes from Alise

Dear Elizabeth,

What I wish most for you and for Garrett is that you are able to stop and savour the everyday, the mundane, the simplicity of life's little moments. May Billy Collins' words inspire your many moments together. Much love, Alise

This Much I Do Remember
Billy Collins

It was after dinner.
You were talking to me across the table
about something or other,
a greyhound you had seen that day
or a song you liked,

and I was looking past you
over your bare shoulder
at the three oranges lying
on the kitchen counter
next to the small electric bean grinder,
which was also orange,
and the orange and white cruets for vinegar and oil.

All of which converged
into a random still life,
so fastened together by the hasp of color,
and so fixed behind the animated
foreground of your
talking and smiling,
gesturing and pouring wine,
and the camber of your shoulders

that I could feed it being painted within me,
brushed on the wall of my skull,
while the tone of your voice
lifted and fell in its flight,
and the three oranges
remained fixed on the counter
the way stars are said
to be fixed in the universe.

Then all the moments of the past
began to line up behind that moment
and all the moments to come
assembled in front of it in a long row,
giving me reason to believe
that this was a moment I had rescued
from the millions that rush out of sight
into a darkness behind the eyes.

Even after I have forgotten what year it is,
my middle name,
and the meaning of money,
I will still carry in my pocket
the small coin of that moment,
minted in the kingdom
that we pace through every day.

Happy Virtual Shower!

Elizabeth,

I read an article in Parenting magazine recently called “Six Marriage Myths.” One of the topics the article addresses is taking your partner for granted. It begins by saying that while you might think it’s a bad thing to take your partner for granted, in a marital context where two people have committed themselves so completely to each other, taking the other for granted just shows the level of commitment that is expected. And how wonderful to be able to expect so much from someone else!

When I look at my own marriage I realize that there have been times when I may have taken Jared for granted, and while I would like to be sure and show my gratitude to him for all he does for our family, it’s also encouraging to see that our relationship is such that I can rely on him to continue to be the support he always has been.

To read the rest of the article, follow this link: http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/6-Marriage-Myths

We love you and look forward to celebrating with you!

Tara

From Grandma Benedict

"I feel that it is such a blessing that you and Garrett found each other. May the blessings continue as you
share your life journeys together."

With love and all best wishes,
Grandma Benedict

Congratulations from Amy in CA

Etse-bay,

I hope you have a fabulous "virtual shower". I hope you are able to have a special day even though I could not be there with you. Love is such a special blessing and I'm excited that you've found it with Garrett. Weddings are so much fun and I am bummed that we cannot be there with you to celebrate. Our new little one (AJ) is keeping us very busy at home.

Lots of love and best wishes!
Amy

Paul, Carol, and Mark send all our love on your "virtual shower" day

Elizabeth,

It is stating the obvious to say that every relationship is different. But when I think about my own marriage, I have to say that it has thrived because Paul and I acknowledge our differences and respect each others need to have a vibrant life (friends, professional, etc.) beyond the marriage. Some might think we have carried this too far at times. After all, Paul went off to the (then) Soviet Union for half a year almost immediately after we got married (We had to marry in February because that was the only month we were both on the same continent!). But by giving each other space, our bond has only continued to grow with time. Now, I'm not advocating that either of you depart for China for a year--as I did during our courtship--but our own secret of success has been our mutual and loving recognition that we are two distinctly different people. Sometimes we forget and become annoyed or even angry because the other person isn't doing things the "right" way. This is true whether it small stuff (like the perennial debate about whether it is necessary to pre-rinse the dishes or not before putting them in the dishwasher) or the bigger issues that come with every marriage. But then we remember that because we are not "joined at the hip" we simply do things differently. We are two people who love each other very much but who nonetheless entered this marriage with distinctive life histories, personalities, and styles. In the end, there is no "right" way--just our own unique approaches to the challenges that life throws at us. And it sure helps to have companion along the way.

So, enjoy and celebrate your individuality, even as you join in this wonderful union. You are two very special people and we are so very, very happy for you both.

Happy Future for you TWO!!

HI Elizabeth

I am so excited to see you and celebrate this exciting event with you. You deserve the best and I believe you have found it with Garrett. Grace and I can't wait to see your new life in Atlanta and be there for you as you move into the next great stage in life. Despite what's happening in my own marriage I believe that love will prevail and know that if you two really want a long life together it will happen. I am sending you lots of love and apoligies for calling at midnight, though it was 10 PM and your were probably out having fun. Anyways, can't wait to see you soon. ;-)

Jenn's Shower Wishes

Elizabeth,

Although most weddings are very similar, each marriage between two people will always be different. My hope for the two of you, is that your union encourages the best parts of each other, that your love continues to blossom, and that the friendship you've developed carries you far on the path you'll share.

I appreciate the old saying about how when a truly good match is made, the total is greater than the sum of the two parts. May you share a lifetime of happiness together and best wishes for a very happy wedding weekend!

Love,
Jenn

Happy Virtual Shower!

First of all, Jason and I are so excited for the two of you. Garrett is such a sweet and loving man and he is certainly lucky to have found such a sincere and caring match.

I remember the excitement you had in your eyes when you arrived at our house for Christmas after having met Garrett. He had given you an intricate journal/scrapbook that clearly went above and beyond a Christmas gift someone would normally give after a few dates. Clearly, he knew you were the one and after seeing that gift; we all knew too!

Jason and I have been married for almost four years and each year has been better than the last. When we got married, we thought there wasn't anything more we could possibly learn about each other. Yet, life throws all sorts of interesting scenarios at us every day and we constantly have new opportunities to grieve, to rejoice, to change and to grow. The best part is, we get to do it all together. This has been one of the greatest joys of our marriage.

Here is my advice for your wedding day. I thought it would be fun to do with pictures from my own wedding day!

First of all, be sure to have fun:


Enjoy all of the family and friends who have gathered to celebrate with you:


Be in the moment, even if it makes you cry:


Most importantly, keep in mind that a wedding lasts a day, but your marriage will last a lifetime:


Much love,
Bethie

Anne's musings

Greetings, Elizabeth! I hope you are feeling our virtual presence as you enjoy your shower. I’m looking forward to the celebration in just a couple of weeks.

This written format is a challenge for scientifically-minded, non-married, unemotional (ha) types like myself. However, I can say that it brings me great joy that you and Garrett have found each other. Obviously you enrich each other’s lives, and together you have enriched mine.

(end of sentimentality)

Here are a few concrete reminders of what you are gaining by taking Garrett as a life partner. One, when traveling together, you will always have someone to watch your carryon luggage when you need to visit a bathroom. (The value of this cannot be overstated.) Two, when you are so under the weather that you can barely drag yourself home from work, hopefully Garrett will always be available and willing to run out to the store to buy you some cold medication. Or maybe your household will be better stocked than mine in the first place. Three, you will have a captive audience to listen to any funny (or scary) dreams you have.

Finally, I’ll share an excerpt I like from the majority opinion in “Goodridge vs Department of Health,” written by Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall:

“Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.”


All the best,

Anne

Kim's best wishes and thoughts on love...

Elizabeth,

When preparing this note for your “virtual shower” I spent a lot of time thinking about love. As I have never been married, I can hardly begin to offer any advice on the subject besides research (and let’s face it—I don’t want to bore you!)

Love for me is sharing a strong bond with someone. It can be a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger. In this crazy world full of conflict, love has managed to survive and in many cases thrive against all odds. Love is what keeps people hoping for the best.

Love between two people, ahh---well most people have a desire to be understood and if you can find someone to understand that also understands you—that’s a treasure. Nothing, in my opinion, tops those moments where you feel so comfortable around someone doing nothing and that feeling is just as thrilling as when you first kissed.

In closing (before this gets too sappy), here are two quotes that I thought were appropriate.

“Love is a friendship set to music.”
E. Joseph Cossman

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”
Robert Frost

I wish I could be there to share these thought in person. I am looking forward to being able to witness your happy day!

Love,

Kim

Joanna's Virtual Shower Wishes

Dear Elizabeth,

Welcome to your Virtual Bridal Shower! I hope you’re having a fun day! I wish that I could be there to “shower you” with my good wishes in person, but I’ll see you quite soon. One benefit to doing this virtually, I suppose, is that you get to miss all those silly shower games. Hmmm. There is one game that you can still play: the “create a wedding dress out of toilet paper” game! Get Garrett to help you (hey, he’s a stylish guy), and then take lots of pics for us!

Anyway, needless to say, I am so happy for you – that you have found that special person to share your life with, someone who clearly adores you (as well he should!). It has been such fun to watch your relationship with Garrett progress, from “Oh, Elizabeth’s dating another guy” to “Hmmm, she’s seeing a lot of him, isn’t she?” to “Awwww, what a cute couple they make!” It’s been like watching a fairytale Romance unfold, in real time.

That brings me to one of my current favorite poems (I think you’ll see why):

Permanently

One day the Nouns were clustered in the street.
An Adjective walked by, with her dark beauty.
The Nouns were struck, moved, changed.
The next day a Verb drove up, and created the Sentence.

Each Sentence says one thing–­­ for example, “Although it was a dark rainy day when the Adjective walked by, I shall remember the pure and sweet expression on her face until the day I perish from the green, effective earth.”
Or, “Will you please close the window, Andrew?”
Or, for example, “Thank you, the pink pot of flowers on the window sill has changed color recently to a light yellow, due to the heat from the boiler factory which exists nearby.”

In the springtime the Sentences and the Nouns lay silently on the grass.
A lonely Conjunction here and there would call, “And! But!”
But the Adjective did not emerge.

As the Adjective is lost in the sentence,
So I am lost in your eyes, ears, nose, and throat­­–
You have enchanted me with a single kiss
Which can never be undone
Until the destruction of language.

— Kenneth Koch

As an old married broad (thirteen years together, eight years married, as of this July), I should probably have some words of wisdom for you regarding your upcoming nuptials. But I don’t think you need any! Instead, I’ll tell you what I found about being married: it brought no dramatic changes; just more of a great thing. So I wish you much, much more of all the great things that you and Garrett have together now: fun, adventure, friendship, happiness, and love.

To close, another, more dramatic love poem for you:

Touched by an Angel

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

—Maya Angelou

Have fun with your remaining wedding preparations, and I’ll see you soon!

Love,
Joanna

Happy For You

Dear Elizabeth,

We are so happy that you and Garrett are getting married. We think you will be a great couple!

Sorry we can't have a real shower and hope you enjoy this "virtual shower".

Gerry and I are so looking forward to your wedding coming soon.

Love,

Nancy

A Virtual Shower for You!

Congrats Elizabeth!

I am so excited for this exciting step in your and Garrett's relationship. I can't wait until May 3rd to share in your announcement of love with your family and friends!

Nothing is sweeter than love;
nothing stronger, nothing higher,
nothing wider, nothing happier,
nothing fuller, nothing better
in heaven and earth...
love flies, runs, and rejoices;
it is free and nothing can hold it back.
-- Thomas a Kempis

Marriage in the words of Mel Brooks...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbqv3MwwVd8

Love, Sybil:)