Elizabeth,
It is stating the obvious to say that every relationship is different. But when I think about my own marriage, I have to say that it has thrived because Paul and I acknowledge our differences and respect each others need to have a vibrant life (friends, professional, etc.) beyond the marriage. Some might think we have carried this too far at times. After all, Paul went off to the (then) Soviet Union for half a year almost immediately after we got married (We had to marry in February because that was the only month we were both on the same continent!). But by giving each other space, our bond has only continued to grow with time. Now, I'm not advocating that either of you depart for China for a year--as I did during our courtship--but our own secret of success has been our mutual and loving recognition that we are two distinctly different people. Sometimes we forget and become annoyed or even angry because the other person isn't doing things the "right" way. This is true whether it small stuff (like the perennial debate about whether it is necessary to pre-rinse the dishes or not before putting them in the dishwasher) or the bigger issues that come with every marriage. But then we remember that because we are not "joined at the hip" we simply do things differently. We are two people who love each other very much but who nonetheless entered this marriage with distinctive life histories, personalities, and styles. In the end, there is no "right" way--just our own unique approaches to the challenges that life throws at us. And it sure helps to have companion along the way.
So, enjoy and celebrate your individuality, even as you join in this wonderful union. You are two very special people and we are so very, very happy for you both.
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